The Four Agreements and Photography
Alright, now, this is about to bet super crunchy, granola woo woo. Please stick with me. It's worth it.
What are The Four Agreements?
To answer, it's a book. Don Miguel Ruiz wrote this book, and it is a simple guide to how to live your life with freedom and intention. These divine words came into my life during my yoga teacher training in 2018. It blew my mind. I couldn't believe how four little mantras could uproot and change how I looked at life.
The gist of the book is that everything we know and are is an agreement. By using our attention, we learn a whole reality, how to function in society, what to believe, and what not to believe. When we went to school, we focused on the teacher and what they were telling us. We went to church and put our attention on what the priest was saying. From this listening and this direction of our attention, we formed agreements in our minds. The formation of these agreements serves as the basis for understanding what is right, what is wrong, how we should behave, what we should think, and so on.
If you think about it, our language is an agreement. We make sounds and agree that this particular sound means camera or doorknob. Most of the time, we do not choose our first agreements. I did not choose to speak English or be a Christian. Those decisions were given to me. I didn't even choose my own name.
Basically, the outside world around us captures our attention, and if we agree, we hold on to that belief. Someone can say, "Vanessa, you are so beautiful" or "Vanessa, you are so cruel." If I choose to agree, I will store that as part of my identity. The funny thing is that even if we didn't choose our beliefs, we agreed to them.
Are you still with me? It relates, I promise.
These agreements in life shape what we believe and who we are. It's the foundation of our ego. There are also two little people inside ur ego called the judge and the victim. We all have these little voices.
The voices that judge others, and even ourselves, the ones that cast shame, blame, and punishment. We also have the victim, the voice that says, "poor me," and "if only."
By adopting the Four agreements, you can create the power to challenge all your old ones.
Here they are:
Be Impeccable with your word: speak with integrity, say only what you mean. Avoid using words that speak agist yourself or gossip against others. Use the power of your words in the direction of truth and love towards others.
Dont Take anything personally: Nothing that others do is because of you. It is a reflection of them. It is a projection of their reality and the agreements they have made. When you are immune to others' opinions and actions, you will let go of needless suffering.
Dont make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and for what you really want. Communicate with others as effectively as you can to avoid misunderstandings.
Always do your best: Your best will change from moment to moment. It will be different from when you are tired as opposed to when you are well-rested. Under all circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and self-neglect.
Okay, so what does this have to do with business and photography
If you think of it, taking photos of another person is an agreement. You agree to meet up, and this time. They pay you and agree to be in front of your camera. Going further than the contract, though - these people show an incredible amount of vulnerability, bringing themselves in front of someone. They get themselves anticipating a judgment. Their inner voice is often saying, " am I pretty enough? m I doing it right? Is this pose awkward?" The photographer agrees to guide them and direct them honestly and authentically.
Let's break it down to the first agreement: Be impeccable with your word
Communicate to your clients honestly, effectively, and with purpose. People like information. It makes them feel prepared. If you clearly correspond with your clients, it can avoid confusions and errors that leave both parties frustrated.
Here is a big one: The second agreement is dont take anything personally.
Easier said than done, right?
As a photographer, so much of what you do centers around who you are. Your brand is probably about you, your style, and your art. It is difficult to not take it personally when it feels like a direct attack.
For example, getting ghosted. It hurts when a potential client goes MIA, but it's crucial to disconnect your feeling from it. Leads come and go, and the right people will stay. Dont take it personally if someone does like your style or doesn't respond to you. It's more about them and the vision they have.
Dont make assumptions
Plain and simple, and when you apply this idea to a photography business, it is helpful. Ask questions, clarify, and communicate. When in doubt, always assume the best of people. I have had a couple runs late, but when I bring this agreement to the table, I take the time to ask questions, are they lost? Is everything okay? Do they need help finding parking? Give the people you work with the benefit of the doubt. Isn't that what you would want?
The most important one: Always do your best.
Storytime. I had this one engagement shoot a long time ago. I didn't bring my best self to the table, I was uninterested and unmotivated, and it showed in my work. It's been years, and I still regret my attitude that day. Make the agreement to always do your best. This will leave you satisfied with the work you have done.
Your best will change. What I did five years ago isn't as good as now. It was, however, the best I could do at the time. That is what matters.
Okay, I will get off my spiritual high horse and leave you with the recommendation to read the book. It applies to life in so many ways and is honestly life-changing. Bring the four agreements into the intention of your business. Let it be your foundation for growing and connecting with others.
XO- Vanessa